Mother's Day (Thank you to my 89-year old mother)

Thank you to my mother. I can't do anything for you, but visit you a few times a year. I love you!!


*****

When my father passed away, my sisters and I worried about your living alone. You were fine and managed to live alone somehow for the first 2 or 3 years. And then, one day my younger sister found you fell on the hallway when she visited you. We talked a lot about your life. My sisters and I couldn't live with you for our situations. Finally we determined to look for a nursing home for elderly. My older sister found a good place and you moved there. How much we suffered from the decision! but no choice. We tried to visit you as many as we could. The nursing home was really clean and nice. Your room had a small kitchen, a bathroom and a big window with a nice view. We liked your room and you, too. The meals that they served were good and they took care of the nutrition of older people. Then, you were getting weak and you moved to the next building of the same nursing home for older and weaker people. There you couldn't have your own room, you had to live with other four people. Your own place is now your bed and a small place for your chair and a drawer. Only the curtains keeps your privacy. Most of the eldery there suffer from senile dementia, but your brain is still clear. Whenever I visit you, I am very sad for the surroundings. If I were you, could I bear that? You know there is no choice. I feel just guilty. I just think your rough life that you have been going through. You experienced the War, unhappy marriage, your daughter's desease, your husband's sudden death, and then your own hard condition of life.
Please, please take care of yourself, mum.
I will visit you next month for sure. I love you!!!

Happy Birthday to Me!

***
Yesterday is history.
Tomorrow is mystery.
Today is a gift.
***

Today I turned 54 years old. hmmm,,, I can't believe this age. I am definitely an old woman phisically, but in mind, I am not matured enough yet. haha
As getting older, I feel that I become more difficult.
Anyway, Happy Birthday to Me!

I got a stiff shoulder(due to my age)

Exercise for a stiff shoulder










Actually I have been down these months. One reason is, of course, hay fever. This year I have suffered seriosly from it. I have heard that as getting older hay fever disappears gradually because of aging. Well, if it is true, I don't know whether it is a good point or a bad point for me. :(

I have another reason makes me feel down.
A month and a half ago, suddenly I had a dull pain in my right shoulder. I thought it was kinda "mouse elbow" and the pain would disappear soon if I had used the pc less.
However, the pain was getting stronger. It was sometimes dull and other time it was keen. I even had numbness on my right arm and shoulder. I could hardly move my right shoulder, bend my right arm or raise my hand to my face because of the pain.
I thought I had to see a doctor, but I was so scared. The doctor would touch my shoulder to check it and it would shourely bring a keen pain to me. :(
I hated someone touched me, even he was a doctor. I was such a week person.

This symptoms is called "shiju-kata" or "goju-kata." It means a stiff shoulder for people in 40's/50's. I am in my 50's, so mine is "goju-kata." :(
I didn't believe that I had it. I would swim for 1000m 3 days par a week, I would practice yoga for years. I can't say my body is very flexible, but I could shake my hands behind my back.... before I got a stiff shoulder. ;(

This morning finally I made a dicision to see a doctor. The ache was very sharp and I couldn't stant it any more.
The doctor took X-ray and, of course he touched my painful shoulder.
He tried to bend my right arm and shoulder in various angles, and every time I was in agony.
My eyes were watery with pain. A nurse even told him to stop that jokingly. And he gave me an injection in the joint of my right shoulder. Ouch!!
He told that I should have come to see him much earlier. Yes, I knew, but I couldn't. I was stupid.

The examination didn't finish yet. Then a nurse took me a rehabilitation room.
She explained me how to use one of the devices to soften my frozen shoulder. My device was like a pulley; I grabbed a strap with my right hand and I pulled the other strap with my left hand. Ouch!!
She told that I had to do this exercise 50 times there 3 days per a week. This is just like torture for me. ;(

Anyway, I received some painkillers and went back home.
My rehabilitation has just started. I will make a push to cure my stiff shoulder.

High Five

I don't know if they could do it in a rush-hour in Tokyo. :)

A very exciting bathroom

This is a bathroom in Madarao ski resort. Once you sit there, you can feel as if you are on the platform of ski jump and about to jump out.
I have acrophobia, so I would feel uneasy there....:(

Tegami (The letter: Dear you who's reading this letter)

The age of 15 is one of the most important turning points in life, I think. In Japan it is the time when children finish compulsory education and step into the new world. I remember that it was a very difficult time for my son and, also for me as a mother. Children can be both a joy and a burden. I know well that they grow up without saying thanks. I was the same when I was a teenager. Now I understand my mother and I turn my thoughts toward her thougths I was 15.




Tegami(the letter) by Angela Aki

*****
Translation Tegami ~Haikei Juugo No Kimi E~ (Minna No Uta Ver.)

Dear you,
Who's reading this letter
Where are you and what are you doing now?

For me who's 15 years old
There are seeds of worries I can't tell anyone

If it's a letter addressed to my future self,
Surely I can confide truly to myself

Now, it seems that I'm about to be defeated and cry
For someone who's seemingly about to disappear
Whose words should I believe in?
This one-and-only heart has been broken so many times
In the midst of this pain, I live the present

Dear you,
Thank you
I have something to tell the 15-year-old you

If you continue asking what and where you should be going
You'll be able to see the answer

The rough seas of youth may be tough
But row your boat of dreams on
Towards the shores of tomorrow

Now, please don't be defeated and please don't shed a tear
During these times when you're seemingly about to disappear
Just believe in your own voice
For me as an adult, there are sleepless nights when I'm hurt
But I'm living the bittersweet present

There's meaning to everything in life
So build your dreams without fear
Keep on believing

Seems like I'm about to be defeated and cry
For someone who's seemingly about to disappear
Whose words should I believe in?

Please don't be defeated and please don't shed a tear
During these times when you're seemingly about to disappear
Just believe in your own voice

No matter era we're in
There's no running away from sorrow
So show your smile, and go on living the present
Go on living the present

Dear you,
Who's reading this letter
I wish you happiness...

Hina Matsuri (Dolls Festival for Girls)

In Kyoto, there is an event to float hina-dolls on the river.




I put these hina dolls in the living room. :)


I almost forgot "Hina Matsuri" this year. Hina Matsuri is one of the spring events, but these days we have had very cold days. In fact the cold rain is falling right now outside. :( Today's weather forecast is for snow tonight, but look at the hina dolls. I hope you can feel somthing springlike with them. :)